I’m writing to you from lovely Provincetown! It’s the night of my concert, and I don’t got nuthin’ to do. Turns out, Audra got ye olde COVID and had to cancel. I’m sad she got sick, but very happy that she rescheduled for next week because that means I get to come here again. I got here on a Friday, so I had two days to enjoy shopping (aka getting chocolate from The Fudge Factory) and two nights to see shows.
First, I saw the hilarious Miss Richfield 1981, Russ King’s long-time creation. Her name is based on the title she won in a Minnesota beauty contest in, you guessed it, 1981. A lot of the show is Miss Richfield spontaneously chatting with the audience and, man, she is so quick. She wound up talking to a young guy who was visiting Provincetown for the first time. She flirtatiously asked how old he was and when he said, “19,” she countered with, “Well, in Ptown, we round up.” Then, when she found out he was from the Netherlands, she told everyone that they use the metric system, so who really even knows how old he is.
It made no sense, but was hilarious! See Miss Richfield 1981 in a city near you (and play online Bingo with her)!
The next night, I saw the brilliant Jeffrey Roberson, who performs as Varla Jean Merman. This summer, his show is called The Errors Tour (inspired by Taylor Swift's The Eras Tour) and it showcases Varla’s (aka Jeff’s) long career and the various errors that have happened along the way. Interestingly, Jeff wound up not telling one of my favorite error stories, so I’ll tell it to you now.
Jeff was starring in a parody of Mildred Pierce called Mildred Fierce. The show was in Boston, but Jeff is from New Orleans and wanted the cast to celebrate Mardi Gras. He brought in a King Cake, cut everyone slices with a big knife, and then did the show. He had a flight the next day from Boston to New Orleans and “decided to be responsible” and bring his script along to go over his lines. Well, when he went through TSA there was a problem.
You see, after he cut the cake for everyone, he put the knife away in the back of his script. Yes, he put his script through the x-ray machine, and it had a giant knife concealed inside. Jeff told me that when TSA finds a literal murder weapon in your carry-on, and you explain that it was all a humorous mistake, the TSA officers don’t have a good laugh with you and then tell you to scooch along and be on your way. Turns out, they don’t even chuckle. Or smile. They actually immediately call security, and you are taken to a room for a full interrogation for a long time! Let’s just say he did not make his flight.
While he was in the interrogation room, Jeff kept explaining to the stern Homeland Security agents what happened but, as he was talking, he knew that it sounded completely made up. He stammered, “You see, I’m doing a play! I’m in Mildred Fierce!” The officer asked him what role he played in Mildred Fierce and Jeff, who is over six feet tall and bald, had to reply, “….Mildred.”
Suffice it to say, after they let him go, he wasn’t exactly placed on a “No Fly” list, but he spent a very long time on something like a “Watch This Crazy-A** Person Very Carefully” list.
One of the first parodies I ever heard Jeff sing as Varla Jean was a three-song medley he re-wrote from Schoolhouse Rock. I had Jeff perform it in an Obsessed video. Watch!
And go see Varla in a city near you!
This week, I’m going to Palm Desert to visit my dad and his wife, Gloria, and all the fun theatre folk who live there! And then, I’ll be back on the East Coast to start my Broadway Concert Series at the Bell Theater at Bell Works in Holmdel, New Jersey. One Saturday per month, I’m going to be joined by amazing people like Sierra Boggess, Adam Pascal, J. Harrison Ghee, and Krysta Rodriguez. On Saturday, August 10, I’m starting the whole thing off with Mandy Gonzalez, who is about to be the “special guest Norma Desmond at certain performances” of Sunset Boulevard on Broadway! And I just found out I can give out the code “MANDY” for discount ticket. Yass! Get thee to the Bell Theater's website for tickets to see us in NJ.
Also, make sure you watch this fantastic video I made of Mandy singing “Rainbow High” when I was playing for her on my SiriusXM radio show!
In happy news, it was James’ birthday on July 6, and I had his pals make videos for a full birthday greeting movie. There were so many beautiful heartfelt tributes as well as hilarious ones. Here is what Varla submitted:
And here is my friend Jack Plotnick and his panicked Les Mis duet minus one:
Speaking of birthdays, on my last #SethsBwayCruise, I was chatting with the hilarious Christopher Sieber and his triple-threat husband, Kevin Burrows. They met when Chris was playing Gaston in Beauty and The Beast. I knew Kevin was in the ensemble and asked specifically who he played. He told me that when he joined the show, he was “a fork,” but after the show changed theatres and the cast was reduced, he became the fork!
Anyhoo, back to birthdays. Kevin’s birthday is in the fall, and he hates that the only flowers around are mums because they always seem like the flowers you see right before all plants die for the winter. To him, mums = death. Another thing you need to know is that he and Chris live on an island. For real! Not in the Caribbean (where my next #SethsBwayCruise is going in January. Come sail with us!), but an island in New Jersey. It’s so beautiful, and you get to it by rowboat. So, on the morning of Kevin’s 50th birthday, they had lots of friends over to celebrate for the weekend. Kevin needed some supplies to do some baking (he’s an amazing chef).
Kevin took the rowboat to the mainland, and that was Chris’ cue to get to work. When Kevin arrived back at the island, the entire deck was covered in death flowers (aka mums). They were everywhere! And all of Kevin’s friends, as well as Chris, were dressed as Sally O’Malley. Remember? She’s the Molly Shannon character from Saturday Night Live who always yells, “I’m 50!” That’s a fun idea I would have for one of my friend’s 50th and then my ADD would prevent me from completing it. Brava Chris on the follow through! Look at this photo:
And here’s Molly Shannon as Sally O’Malley, if you don’t know the reference:
P.S. Chris is performing two shows at 54 Below on August 19 and 20. You can see them in person or via livestream. Catch him before he’s starring on Broadway in Death Becomes Her!
And now, I must give extremely sad news. We lost our doggie, Mandy, on Friday July 26. We did a Stars In The House dedicated to her with her oncologist, Dr. Emily Krieger, as well Paul Sanders from Animal Care Center, from where we adopted her. You can watch the whole thing here:
And, if you can, please donate to the Animal Care Center via the Stars in the House website.
Below is the post I put on Facebook announcing Mandy’s passing.
We lost our most precious angel, Mandy, on Friday July 26.
We know this is a shock to many of you.
We didn’t want to talk about Mandy being sick because it was so painful for us, and we wanted to stay positive and focus on helping her.
Mandy changed our lives in so many ways, and, as sad as it was, there were so many moments of joy that we experienced throughout her illness. Joy and life lessons.
James and I are hosting a special Stars in the House tomorrow, Monday, August 5 at 8 PM ET in her honor and we hope you will join us. We are doing the livestream to raise money for the Animal Care Center of NYC (ACC), from where we adopted Mandy, and to talk about what we learned from the experience of her being sick. If you would like to donate, you can go to the Stars in the House website (starting now!) and the donate button goes directly to the shelter.
The message we want to convey is get multiple opinions, and do not give in to know-it-all downers!
James and I will talk more about this tomorrow but, in a nutshell, after a visit to the vet because she was acting slightly off, Mandy was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma, a horrific cancer that is rare and fatal.
Doctors at two different hospitals told us that she had tumors on her spleen, liver, and kidney, and she had three days to live. Three days. They told us it was too late for any surgery or treatment, and we were told to “get her a Big Mac,” because she had so little time left.
It was devastating news, but we accepted the diagnosis and prepared for the worst.
On the fourth (!) day after her diagnosis, James looked over at Mandy, who was on the couch with us… acting as sassy as she always did… and he told me that we shouldn’t give up.
James and I both realized that Mandy wasn’t acting like she was at death’s door and that if she wasn’t ready to go, we needed to try everything we could to help her. We changed our attitudes and immediately became proactive! I googled, “hemangiosarcoma” and discovered the name Jason Redlus, a wonderful entrepreneur who lost his doggie to hemangiosarcoma and now dedicates his life to developing treatments to help doggies with that type of cancer. Jason founded this website to help pet owners whose furry friends received the hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Please check out all the work Jason has been doing. Even though we had never met, he contacted me the very next day after I reached out and connected us to the wonderful Dr. Chand Khanna.
We told Dr. Khanna that not only were we told there is no treatment, but we also couldn’t even get an oncologist who had availability to examine her. Dr. Khanna connected us to Dr. Emily Krieger, an oncologist at Red Bank Vet, who agreed to see us immediately and was able to do a needle aspirate…. even though we were told that wasn’t possible. She discovered that Mandy did not have hemangiosarcoma, but instead, histiocytic sarcoma. Sadly, that’s also a horrible and fatal disease, and much rarer, but Dr. Krieger knew of the latest options in treatments and had an incredibly positive attitude.
Thus followed a period of ups and downs… but mostly ups. If you had hung out with us and Mandy during this time, you probably wouldn’t have known she was having any troubles at all.
The photo montage in Central Park was taken on the day of her diagnosis. She looks good to me!
James and I will talk about the whole experience tomorrow, but the upshot is, that wonderful mutt stayed with us much longer than what the initial vets predicted. Her quality of life was wonderful, and we owe it all to the people who helped us. Dr. Krieger will be our special guest tomorrow!
Mandy was given her “three-days-to-live” sentence in April and, instead, she gave those naysaying doctors a middle finger from her paw. Mandy lived for her scheduled three days and then for three more months!
Mandy was an incredibly loving and empathic doggie who always, and I mean always, knew when we needed her emotional support. It’s impossible to say how much we miss her.
Tomorrow’s show will be extremely difficult to do, but we know that we weren’t the only ones who loved Mandy, and we want to honor her memory and share all the good times we’ve had with her!
We ask Stars in The House fans to email us if you remember a particular episode where Mandy was featured. If you can, tell us where on the episode she makes her guest appearance and we will try to cut a clip and add it to the clips we’re going to show.
And finally, if you don’t have pet insurance, please get it. It was such a blessing to not have to stress about the price of treatments. We use Trupanion and love it.
And don’t forget, adopt, don’t shop!
